Halloween story... or not

It was a dark and cold morning. The sun hadn’t yet peeked itself above the horizon. It was two days before Halloween…

Does this sound like the start of a scary story? Well, it’s not. For you, at least. For me, it was the beginning of the most terrible day. I got up and let my dogs out. I have a Boston terrier mix, and a purebred Jack Russell. I went to the back of the house and got my boys up for school, then started collecting some laundry I’d let hang dry in another room, when all of a sudden I heard one of my little terriers let out a shriek like I’ve not heard before. The laundry falls from my grip as I panic and run to the door. My mind is racing, I’ve had friends whose little dogs had gotten trampled by deer hooves after a 150 lb. bravado inside their 15 lb body went on the attack. I didn’t know what I would find, but my pups were out there with something and I had to try & save them! I ripped open the sliding door when all of a sudden a wave of odor penetrated my nose.

Like in those old Tom & Jerry cartoons where the scent of some wonderful concoction wafts it’s way in from the kitchen. In the cartoons it’s all white and gray and swirlie. Only this was not a pleasant kitchen concoction.

This was that nocturnal creature that’s black & white and smells all over. Skunk. I quickly hollered for my boys to bring me a flashlight. They are too much like their panicky mother and ran in circles trying to find the toy flashlights from their youth instead of getting me the ‘real thing’ from above the refrigerator. I get the light and shine it outside. Sure enough, they’ve got something cornered in the yard. It’s got two shiny blue eyes that reflect in my flashlight and I start calling and calling them both to come in the house, hoping upon hope that the skunk will just wander away if I can get the big bad dogs away from it. The dogs don’t come of course- they have something trapped!! Isn’t that what terrier do? Hunt vermin? I scream and scream and scream both their names, all the while wondering what am I going to do with them when I get them in the house? Meanwhile, the scent is growing stronger. I finally get one of them to come it, whoosh, lock him in the bathroom. I go back to calling the other one. She’s more stubborn and is going to let this skunk know that he is totally trespassing and she for one, will not have it! Finally, I get her into the house and although I did not believe it possible, the skunk stench became even thicker. I lock her in the garage and immediately head back and begin to bathe the first one. By this time the stench is so potent, I can almost taste it in my mouth.

All the while, my boys are zipping around the house, slamming doors to try and stave off the smell, lighting every candle they can find and turning on every portable fan we own. To deal with the smell, I grab a hand towel and hold it over my nose and mouth while I begin to wash the dog. Have you ever tried to bathe a dog one handed? Not easy, but I prevailed. I scrubbed him down w/baking soda and shampoo, dried him off & slapped him in his kennel while I went to deal with the other dog. I opened the garage door, grabbed terrier #2 and whisked her off to the bathroom. At this point, the smell is so strong it doesn’t even smell like skunk anymore. It’s just a thick, bitter, offensive criminal to the ol’ schnoz. I get her collar off and that when I notice it. A not so small, yellowish stain on her all white neck. It was about the size of the palm of my hand and when mixed with hot water from the bath, it began to release it’s skunky odor into all the steam droplets that were rising and dispersing themselves throughout the tiny bathroom and eventually, throughout the house. I bathed her the best I could, again with one hand and dried her a bit and tossed her into her kennel.

I was so overwhelmed with what I had to get done, I couldn’t even take my kids to school! The smell had permeated our walls, the towels, and the clothes they were wearing, the clothes in the drawers even held a small stench. Due to the target dog being locked in the garage for a good 15 minutes while I bathed the first one, the smell had also permeated my car. So, I just couldn’t do it. Couldn’t stand to put our smelly selves into the smelly car and drive 10 miles, couldn’t subject the entire staff and student body to our smelly selves and couldn’t subject my boys to the humiliation of being smelly! My dear mother in law, bless her- brought me air fresheners and boxes of baking soda so I could wash the dogs repeatedly. They both wound up have a total of 3 baths each that day. One of those being a bath painted in tomato sauce, a recommendation of the groomer on duty at our vet’s office. I’d always heard tomato juice, but she said sauce, and the kicker: to leave it on for at least half an hour! How was I supposed to do this without having them shake red stains all over everything? Ah, those lovely kennels came into play again. By the end of the day those kennels were a bear to clean out, but better then my whole house I guess. After the dogs dried out, they got kicked outside for the rest of the morning, and we turned off the heat, (spreads the smell) put on more coats, opened the doors and windows and put all the fans in and around them to encourage the airflow. By noon, when my mother in law came back, she said it was barely noticeable. It was at that point, that I could look back over the morning and laugh. I could see that although not pleasant, it was just one of those life things that happens and one day becomes a family story to tell.